The French robbery (Joke)

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre Museum. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else. I listed it because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.)

The Poisonous Wife (Joke)

A man goes to see his Rabbi."Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asks, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?" The man then pleads, "I'm telling you I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

The next day the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife on the phone yesterday for over three hours. You want my advice? " The man anxiously answers, "Yes."

"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.